I am having a serious bout of learners block. If that's possible.
And I think I'm having a hot flash.

As I was reading through numerous blogs and xangas, nosing into other people's lives as I so often like to do, I got to thinking about how much I have changed and on top of that, how much I haven't.

I feel like my life has been a parabola, a normal curve of change. Like I needed to change more and hit that pinnacle in high school and now its all down hill. Sometimes when I think about my past I feel that during my junior high and early high school years I was such a fake. Had a lot of regrettable moments during that time in my life, but what person hasn't. I think I was just seriously struggling with a lot of identity issues that stemmed from a lot of family issues. In fact, I know that I am still struggling with those issues now.

Its not to say that I was dishonest with those I befriended in these times. I have always had a loyalty to my friends. Despite the fact that I may have loyalties to different groups, it's just the type of person I am. I like being around different people so I don't feel so static. If that makes any sense.

But looking back, I am grateful for my high school experiences and even for junior high and the later elementary years. I regret doing a lot of things, but also respect the decisions of my earlier self. If I hadn't thought that or acted in that way, would I be here now?

I guess there is no logical train of thought to follow. But, it doesn't really matter because I'm really the only one on this train anway.